Fasting contemplations at Starbucks...

I read today in my free news paper -metro- that the subway is seeing a decline in passengers for the first time in x amount of years. It is a direct result of the lay -offs. Which could tell us some interesting things, but I'm drawing blanks right now...

But back to the subway: I needed something to do for my subway rides home. In the morning I usually travel -or commute- with Lindy, so I don't need entertainment. And I do have my Ipod with enough music to ride the subway while being serenaded for hours...but the trains are loud and I don't want to be deaf at the end of my stay here. So, solution: I bought a book - but it is SO FUNNY that it makes me laugh out loud!! And that makes me a little self-conscious. So I laugh softly -but hard- which I think makes me look like I'm either crying (dramatically - ugly face) or choking on something...So now I ride the subways with a book burning a hole in my bag, in serious need of being read - because we all do need some uncontrollable laughs in our lives sometimes. Perhaps, I'll be brave enough to start reading it again and not think about that people might think I'm a crazy lady laughing about nothing.

Oh, tomorrow is Ash Wednesday. The church I go to actually does something for this day and the following 40 days. It made me think about lent and fasting for those 40 days. But what to fast on?? First I thought "no eating out" which would be a serious challenge..."and would getting lunch count as eating out?" These questions are important, but it might be my motivation that is really questionable - eating out takes a proportionate part of my budget. Lent would be the perfect excuse. So then I switched to "only buying necessities, no clothes, music, magazines, books or luxurious foods/drinks, only simple groceries"...but my birthday is somewhere in the middle of lent (sidetrack: realizing this made me grateful I'm not catholic otherwise my bdays would probably not have been much fun for the last 23 years....) and lacking family and close friends to spoil me, I might just have to do it myself. So, moving on..."no music?" I've done it before, and it is a good one because I do have the tendency to fill silences with music - Silences in which God might want to speak to me since most of my prayers are me rambling and God listening (very patiently)...but I don't want to......well, get depressed. 40 days without music is very very long!! So, next! "perhaps no make-up? no...No....NOOOOO!! That is a LIFE NECESSITY!!!" then I realized that Jesus made it 40 days and nights without food and water and they might be a little higher on the scale of physical needs....hmmm...still, I don't want to look tired or even sick for 40 days - what if I meet PC (read: Prince Charming) and he might be totally not interested because I'll look 14 instead of 24! "So, maybe just a little bit of make-up would be an option?" Nuh...that's so semi-lent-ish. "No parfume?" Nah..that's too easy. "40 days no sex?" eeh...what sex? "40 days no tv?"..I don't watch much tv here; don't think those 2 hours a week will make much of an impact. "40 days no deodorant?" Eh..I'm not sure if becoming a social pariah is one of the objectives...."No Starbucks?, no tweezers? (neueueuue, see deo part), no flirting? (as if...ah well...okay..:), no chocolate?, no driving?, no phone?, no meat?, no cookies?, no chips?, no gum? DEAR LORD, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME NOT TO DO???" Then I realized, perhaps it is not about what NOT to do..but what TO DO - finding God. Reconnecting. Catching up. Perhaps it is not about doing something not for 40 days..but consciously searching God for 40 days. And abstaining from otherwise cluttering habits (like listening to music) might be helpful - but it is not the goal, just a mean.

in a month

New York has been my home now for one month..and it has become home! I know where to go grocery shopping. Where to get my tooth paste. I go to work daily..and look forward to the weekends. When people ask me for directions (usually something like 'where can I find the .. subway?) I can send them in an approximately right direction. If they get lost again, they should just ask someone where ever I've send them:) That's what I do too!

Did I already tell that the escalators in the subway tell you 'have a nice day'? Isn't that something? Something CRAZY? Or is it just my European down-to-earth cultural judgement? At the risk of sounding as a dark-spirited grumpy old lady.... Does it not totally rob the meaning of the words when they are said to you by an ESCALATOR? hahaha..aah, anyway, on the other side..it is kind of funny and has the ability to put a smile on my face most of the times I hear it...just because it is...well, odd.

What else did I learn in the last month..making Indonesian (good tasting Indonesian!) food is possible! My sister visited me last weekend and we cooked up some delicious Indo dishes:) You never know you know...even though you bring the same spices (or have them shipped over and cut open by customs - their dogs must have been going C-R-A-Z-Y!!)the other ingredients might be slightly different..However it worked out perfectly!

And my sister's visit...oh, how different a city is when you can share it with someone you love!! We've been alllllll over town: Union Square, lunches at Whole Foods, Soho, South Ferry to Staten Island - which btw should learn how to make themselves attractive for tourists..a sign 'DON'T RUN BACK ON THE FERRY..come hang with us' somehow just doesn't do it.. - Free Friday at MOMA compliments of Target, Trinity Grace Church, McQ for Target sale, Confessions of a Shopaholic, Grand Central Station, Central Park, the Public Library, Hale&Hearty, Starbucks of course (my favorite: Vanilla Earl Grey Misto)...and..and..AND Max Brenner...OH Max!!!!! Chocolate Heaven!!! If you live in a city without Max..go to the website and petition on behalf of all your fellow citizens for a MB in your home town... (www.maxbrenner.com - Amsterdam I put in the first request for you). I do badly hope that my sister will be able to stop by in Spring/Summer...even if it would just be to experience a NORMAL subway ride... No, it would be just awesome to share this great great GREAT city in warmer weather with my sis!

New York, New Day Tomorrow... YAY!!

Dance
as though no one is watching you
Love
as though you have never been hurt before
Sing
as though no one can hear you
Live
as though heaven is on earth
- Souza

Feb. 3rd

I'll turn 24 in one month...

I'm sitting in yet again another Starbucks, drinking my second latte of the day. Caffeine is my best friend today: rough night, tough day.
Rough night because...I'm not sure why, but the neighbors loud Spanish tv did NOT help..it's been going on for some time - not during the day (when I'm not at home anyway) but at night I'm too tired to email the board about it. They would probably be able to fix the problem..Anyway, I should not whine but act..

And tough day: well, it's not too bad. The Escada Manager's Meeting is going on. We all had to introduce ourselves, so it gave some ground to connect with the interns of other departments It is so much easier to start a conversation with someone when you know a little bit about them!
The strategic part was interesting, but after about 45 minutes of product (VERY expensive pants, dresses, shirts) and fabric (HIGH end stuff) I ran! One can only take so much :) My head was spinning and I hid at my desk. Luckily I could do some stuff and wait for the 'sales techniques/behavior' part, which was nice.
But it is a tough day just because I miss home, I'm tired, and not really happy in my work. Maybe it is my perspective but it is sometimes as if I'm invisible..and the things I do..well, challenging is not part of the description.



BUT..but this day could still turn out pretty good..I'm meeting my roommate to go to Paradox, an interdenominal "small group" (30-100 people, depends if there's food or not..) for Christians who work in the fashion industry. It originates from 'Models for Christ', but now all professions in the industry are welcome. I'm curious! Look forward to meet new people!

Ah, well..life in NY is currently wet and cold (snow/rain combination) and dark..but it is still full of life and hope!

The United States of Fashion

It is Sunday evening and time for bed. I'm writing this straight online - unusual:) Like a true fashionista -which I'm not, but just to give my current position a title:)- I have planned all my outfits including shoes for the week...AND made a picture of them (!) to make sure I remember it. Hopefully it will save me a ton of time in the morning!

Today is Superbowl - the football game of the year. So I went with Lindy to my first Superbowl party ever! It was one organized by and for people who are all in fashion. It was fun to see people get excited about a game that does not make sense whatsoever. We didn't stay very long - we were getting tired....so went home and watched 'the devil wears Prada' - speaking of fashion.

Anyway, I'm getting ready for week two at ESCADA. It should be an exciting week with the store managers meeting 2009! I'm looking forward to it actually! Part of does not want to hope for to much - I don't want to be dissapointed... But dream big:

"Build a dream and the dream will build you" - Robert Schuller

I still can't believe I'm here, living this life and I'm still not sure what exactly I am doing here. But I know (I KNOW) God does want me here and the He is with me where ever I go...no, HE went before me and following Him, putting my dreams in His Hands, will make life so much more (fulfilling, exciting, safe, adventurous...) than I can possibly dream - which is kind of scary too:)

It is time for bed now - busy week ahead...and lots of dreaming to do.